What does the term having good self-esteem mean? How is it developed? These are questions I have been asking myself recently. In Wikipedia a description of self-esteem starts this way: “In sociology and psychology, self-esteem reflects a person’s overall subjective emotional evaluation of his or her own worth.” How do we know our own self-worth?
The journey of self-esteem often starts with asking, “What words am I saying to myself? What stories are running through my head about me?” If the stories and thoughts are negative, you have a clue as to what you need to do. Change the story! Turn the page and look for a better one. The words we tell ourselves are what we come to believe. Often they are words we have heard from childhood or more recently from someone in our life that matters to us.
Remember, the words you tell yourself are solely your responsibility.
You choose your thoughts when you live consciously or even when living on auto-pilot, because not living consciously is a choice. I have found that the choices I make moment-to-moment impact my life in big ways. It can raise or lower my self-esteem in an instant.
Your self-esteem will be lowered if you do this one simple thing and you probably do it every day without thinking much about it. Do you know what it is? It is simple, yet it profoundly impacts you. Have you guessed what it is? It is; not keeping promises to you! Again it is your choice. It is easy to not keep promises you make to yourself! Let’s face it, who will know? These promises were only made to yourself and you can always justify a reason to not keep them. Am I right? If day in and day out you keep breaking promises you make to yourself your self-esteem will suffer.
You know the kind of promises I mean. I will eat healthy, I will exercise more, I will practice good self-care, I will say kind words and not react negatively, I will leave a job I hate, I will not drink so much, I will have more fun, etc. The list is endless. Only you know what your list is. I have used my Coach to assist me in being accountable to promises I make to myself. Having an accountability partner works wonders. You may want to hire a Coach or have a friend assist you in accountability. After all, I know you are worth it!
By Coach Judith McCool