Category Archives: Coaching

Grow Your Self-Esteem

What does the term having good self-esteem mean? How is it developed? These are questions I have been asking myself recently. In Wikipedia a description of self-esteem starts this way:  “In sociology and psychology, self-esteem reflects a person’s overall subjective emotional evaluation of his or her own worth.” How do we know our own self-worth?

The journey of self-esteem often starts with asking, “What words am I saying to myself? What stories are running through my head about me?” If the stories and thoughts are negative, you have a clue as to what you need to do. Change the story! Turn the page and look for a better one. The words we tell ourselves are what we come to believe. Often they are words we have heard from childhood or more recently from someone in our life that matters to us.

Remember, the words you tell yourself are solely your responsibility.

You choose your thoughts when you live consciously or even when living on auto-pilot, because not living consciously is a choice. I have found that the choices I make moment-to-moment impact my life in big ways. It can raise or lower my self-esteem in an instant.

Your self-esteem will be lowered if you do this one simple thing and you probably do it every day without thinking much about it. Do you know what it is? It is simple, yet it profoundly impacts you. Have you guessed what it is? It is; not keeping promises to you! Again it is your choice. It is easy to not keep promises you make to yourself!  Let’s face it, who will know? These promises were only made to yourself and you can always justify a reason to not keep them. Am I right?  If day in and day out you keep breaking promises you make to yourself your self-esteem will suffer.

You know the kind of promises I mean. I will eat healthy, I will exercise more, I will practice good self-care, I will say kind words and not react negatively, I will leave a job I hate, I will not drink so much, I will have more fun, etc. The list is endless. Only you know what your list is. I have used my Coach to assist me in being accountable to promises I make to myself. Having an accountability partner works wonders. You may want to hire a Coach or have a friend assist you in accountability. After all, I know you are worth it!

By Coach Judith McCool

 

 

No More Excuses

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“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” –Anne Frank

Ann Frank was wise beyond her years! Breathe in the fact that you don’t need to wait another minute to improve the world, or perhaps just improve your world. What would it take for you to stop making excuses? You know what I mean, “I can’t do this until I make more money” or “I can’t do that until the kids are out of college.” What if you stood up to your limiting beliefs and said, “today I am going to improve my world” or “today I no longer allow myself the luxury of making excuses?”

This is exactly what I did a couple of months ago when I joined a gym. I had been saying for years that I needed to work out for my health and wellbeing. I would start to exercise and at times I even made good progress. I would walk several times a week, or go for a hike on weekends. Adding a Yoga class or two or three, but it never failed, after a while I would let myself off the hook. I was the queen of excuses. I could even justify my excuses until I actually believed them. I bet you are good at this too! You know the kind of excuses I mean, “I don’t have the time to exercise.” This is the one I used most often and I find my clients do too! Or “I am too tired to exercise now, I will go tomorrow.” This is another big one. After all how can you argue with no time or energy?

One day I had to stand up and say, “NO MORE EXCUSES.” Today I will make a commitment to being my best self. I will begin an exercise routine that is in alignment with who I am. I will begin at the beginning and progress at my own pace. Or so I thought! Little did I know that the trainer at the gym saw so much more potential in my exercise ability than I did. Before I knew it I was taking classes I didn’t think I could do at twenty, let alone at my somewhat golden age. I just kept thinking as I tried one more thing “who knew?” Who knew I could do all of this and on top of that, enjoy it? I am now taking weight classes, Yoga, aerobics, Pilates, Zumba and even spinning class. I can honestly say now that I work out! I work out with no excuses because someone saw my potential. They knew I could do more than I thought I could and I did.

This is what I do each day as a coach. I see in my clients what they cannot see in themselves. I see their unique potential and support them to live into it! We look at what is possible and then we look a little beyond. I encourage them to stretch and grow. Sometimes they work on things such as exercise, a new job or even a new love interest. You can live into your purpose and potential more easily when you have someone who believes in you!

Here are some statistics I thought might interest you:

 The Impact of Accountability

When you are accountable to someone, it increases the likelihood that you will achieve your goal.

Here are some statistics from the American Society of Training and Development that reveal the probability of successfully completing a goal:

  • 10% if you hear an idea.
  • 25% if you consciously decide to adopt it.
  • 40% if you decide when you will do it.
  • 50% if you plan how you will do it.
  • 65% if you commit to someone else you will do it.
  • 95% if you have a specific accountability appointment with the person whom you committed. (such as your life coach)

 

If you want to be your best-self consider hiring a life coach. I offer a free 30-minute call by phone or Skype. Book a call today! Email me at Judith@flyingchangecoaching.com

 

“Your audacious life goals are fabulous. Good for you for having them. But it’s possible that those goals are designed to distract you from the thing that’s really frightening you—the shift in daily habits that would mean a re–invention of how you see yourself.” ~ Seth Godin

 By Coach Judith Geiger

Joy Snatchers

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We think once we have matured and have excelled in personal growth that we are done. We are fully healed and all of life’s problems are easily solved. Not quite true. I feel as long as we are on earth; we can learn something about ourselves each and every day. It may not be something really new, perhaps just new layers of the old, yet as we learn more about ourselves we are better able to live in joy.

You are creative. Everyone has creativity in their soul. That is why I am doing the 12-week ‘The Artist’s Way’ program by Julia Cameron once again. Julia wrote this book in the early nineties because she was teaching this material and still teaches it today!  She will be at Kripalu this month. Join her if you can. Kripalu is one of my most loved places to retreat. I have done this book program every few years and it never fails to enlighten me about some part of myself.

Today I learned I was sabotaging myself with the feeling of lack of time. Yikes, that is an old one. How did it surface its ugly head again? My joy snatcher, better known as my saboteur, was back in full force. I noticed this morning during my writing of ‘the morning pages’, as Julia suggests, that this old paradigm showed up. I had my first ‘Artist’s Date’ yesterday, this is where you take your creative self on a date alone and do anything you wish. You are invited to let your very soul (your inner self) guide you.  After some time sipping tea in my car by a frozen lake and looking at all the painting classes available in town I ended up at the YMCA. I did wonder why my creative-self wanted to check this out, but I went with it.

After looking over the shiny machines and finding out they have an indoor ice rink along with a pool I was very excited to join. Sipping a berry smoothie in the food court, while looking over the Yoga and Pilate schedule, I was convinced this was for me. I went home and eagerly told my husband about it. He agreed it was a good idea…he luckily, has never been my joy snatcher. We often have people in our lives that are. Know who your joy snatchers are and don’t give them power over your life.

While I sleep I often come up with solutions to life’s problems, yet this time apparently during the night, I came up with problems to my creativity. If the creative part of me wanted to go to the gym, we all know inspiration often happens when we move our bodies; the skeptical part of me immerged during my morning writing. How will I have time to go at least three times a week? I have clients to coach. I have classes to teach and people to care for. On and on my saboteur argued. That is until I recognized it for being just that. I knew it was My Saboteur and not my Creative Self.  At that moment I was so grateful for my morning pages, otherwise I’m not sure, but I might have self-talked myself right out of going. Once I recognized my saboteur for being my joy snatcher… it simply took a hike.

Often a perspective shift happens when we recognize the truth of what we are thinking. Don’t let your responsibility for others be more important than your responsibility for yourself.  Take responsibility for YOU today! Love means telling your saboteur (your joy snatcher) to take a hike… Love Yourself Now!

By Judith Geiger

Transform Lost Goals

16242487_sDo you have an old New Year’s resolution list, or any old goals list for that matter? Have you ever looked at your lost goals longingly and thought “I really need to do ________!” You can fill in the blank with a thousand lost goals. But just for a moment let’s look at why the goals got lost in the first place.

Yes, it is true that sometimes there are goals that need extra discipline or support to accomplish. You might even need to hire a life coach to assist you to get on track with goals that are important and unattended. I’m not talking about those goals. I am talking about the goals that are more ‘should’ than ‘want to’.

When a long lost goal is still hanging around year after year it can really drain your energy. Somewhere in the back of your mind, possibly deep in your subconscious, you are always chastising yourself for not accomplishing it. After a while it becomes like a lead weight around your neck…and it grows heavier with each passing year.

If you have some long lost goals that you want to transform, then try my two-step process:

Step #1 Discern if your long lost goal is a ‘should.’

*When you imagine the steps it will take to accomplish your goal do you feel energized or drained? If you feel drained it is usually a ‘should’.
Rate your level of passion and enthusiasm about this goal. On a scale of 1-10 your goal needs to be at least a 6 or 7 to take it out of the ‘should’ category. The higher the number the more likely you are to accomplish it.

*Most importantly is this goal your idea or someone else’s? It becomes difficult, if not impossible, to accomplish a goal just because someone else thinks it is a good idea. Such as, your parents, friends, siblings, etc. How much of this goal is your idea?

*If your goal is not a ‘should’ then hire a professional to assist you to accomplish it, if you have decided it is a ‘should’ you can let it go.

Step #2 Release all your ‘should’ goals.

*Once you have decided your goal is a ‘should’ you can simply draw a line through it on your goal list and believe it is ok to let it go!

*If you need a bit more of a ritual to feel it is truly gone, you can write it on a piece of paper and burn it in a safe manner. While thinking or better yet, saying out loud, “I release this goal. I am free to create the goals I truly want.”

*If it pops back into your head during your regular day, simply remind yourself that you are free of that goal. Remind yourself as often as you need to. Until one day it will no longer be your long lost goal; it will transform into your long lost memory.

Happy Women Ditch the Guilt


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Guilt runs silently through my veins. It used to motivate much of what I did without me realizing it! Has this ever happened to you? You might not be aware of it, because guilt can be sneaky, swift and silent. Believe me, I know firsthand. I used to run myself into the ground trying to make everyone happy. And my ego felt it was an insult if someone asked if they could help me.  Who me… need help? No, no, no I am fine. I can do it, whatever it was at the moment.

Perhaps it was fixing a dinner for twenty people by myself or painting every room in the house. I could do it all! It really was true, I could do it all, but at what cost? I often exhausted myself to the point of feeling used and unloved. Is any of this sounding familiar?

I could clean the house until it shined, fix a dinner for twenty people without a hitch, and clean up after with minimal dish washing help. Heaven forbid, in those days I did not own a dishwasher, and I wore that like a badge of honor.  Those were the “good” old days; thank goodness I have out grown them. But it wasn’t a stress free process, to go from there to here, but it sure was worth it. It took many hours of personal foundation work and personal coaching for me to understand my real worth.

I came slowly to realize that I was equating extra hard work with my ability to be a good mother, great wife and better friend. Let me say here that I am still a hard worker. It is part of my very DNA. The difference is today I work hard at what “I” truly want to work at. It is not decided by that sneaky guilt. I have finally reached a place of softness for myself. I am able to treat myself as gently as I do others. This past Christmas I was truly able to see how far I have come.

Christmas Eve is a time of celebration for my family and a wonderful meal is one of the ways we celebrate. Normally the person having the dinner does the majority of the cooking and more recently guests bring something to share. This year dinner was at my home and I was spending the previous day with my son and his family and staying overnight. This meant if I was going to spend quality time with my granddaughters who live some distance away, and truly enjoy them, I would not be at my own home until a couple of hours before guests arrived. If it was still the good old days, I would have either not stayed over or worse yet, stayed and hurried home frantically trying to fix dinner. Why? Simply because of the guilt…it is what a good mother does. Isn’t it?

This good mother did it differently this year. For the first time ever I ordered the meal from a nearby restaurant that caters. I made arrangements to pick up our meal in route home from my son’s house on Christmas Eve. We had grilled chicken that fell off the bone, deep dish lasagna, Italian bread, and I made a big tossed salad with tons of veggies. I even ordered the desserts from the restaurant. We dined on four layer carrot cake and coconut cream pie! My husband, when hearing my plans, applauded the idea and was so excited that I would care for myself in this way that he offered to pay for it. In reality it was not much more expensive that buying all the food and cooking it myself. Not to mention it was wonderfully delicious. Who knew?

This gave me breathing space and it also gave breathing space to my guests. They were told to bring NOTHING! Candles were lit on the two tables that were nestled close together, the lights were dim and a very strange thing occurred. Everyone stayed seated in conversation for a long time after eating. Why do you think this happened? My theory is that they were all feeding off of my completely relaxed state. We were experiencing a much different atmosphere than normal. For once I was not over heated, exhausted or hurried. I was able to be completely present and enjoy it as much as they did! We had a magical Christmas Eve without guilt. I even had enough energy left over to get up at 5am and go to Church with a neighbor who was singing at her Mass. She asked me to attend during dinner and I was able to say yes, knowing I would not be too tired.

Are you wondering about my wonderful husband? He kept getting thanked all night for purchasing our meal and I’m pretty sure it made him feel good to be part of our new way of living. By the way, yes, I do own a dishwasher now (although, I do often wash them by hand, when I choose to, it is simply the green in me now… not the guilt).

My wish for you this New Year is to create a life without guilt. You might have to dodge and weave a bit, but I know you can do it. If you need a little assistance to get started I have several coaching slots open and I offer a free 30-minute consultationto help you to decide if coaching is for you. I would love to hear from you! Email me here!

 

By Judith Geiger