Category Archives: Self-nurturing

Grow Your Self-Esteem

What does the term having good self-esteem mean? How is it developed? These are questions I have been asking myself recently. In Wikipedia a description of self-esteem starts this way:  “In sociology and psychology, self-esteem reflects a person’s overall subjective emotional evaluation of his or her own worth.” How do we know our own self-worth?

The journey of self-esteem often starts with asking, “What words am I saying to myself? What stories are running through my head about me?” If the stories and thoughts are negative, you have a clue as to what you need to do. Change the story! Turn the page and look for a better one. The words we tell ourselves are what we come to believe. Often they are words we have heard from childhood or more recently from someone in our life that matters to us.

Remember, the words you tell yourself are solely your responsibility.

You choose your thoughts when you live consciously or even when living on auto-pilot, because not living consciously is a choice. I have found that the choices I make moment-to-moment impact my life in big ways. It can raise or lower my self-esteem in an instant.

Your self-esteem will be lowered if you do this one simple thing and you probably do it every day without thinking much about it. Do you know what it is? It is simple, yet it profoundly impacts you. Have you guessed what it is? It is; not keeping promises to you! Again it is your choice. It is easy to not keep promises you make to yourself!  Let’s face it, who will know? These promises were only made to yourself and you can always justify a reason to not keep them. Am I right?  If day in and day out you keep breaking promises you make to yourself your self-esteem will suffer.

You know the kind of promises I mean. I will eat healthy, I will exercise more, I will practice good self-care, I will say kind words and not react negatively, I will leave a job I hate, I will not drink so much, I will have more fun, etc. The list is endless. Only you know what your list is. I have used my Coach to assist me in being accountable to promises I make to myself. Having an accountability partner works wonders. You may want to hire a Coach or have a friend assist you in accountability. After all, I know you are worth it!

By Coach Judith McCool

 

 

Walking on Broken Glass

31562763_sI wonder if you have ever gone through a challenging time when you felt like you were walking on broken glass. You took each step with care, but still the glass cut you to the core! That has been my journey for the past several weeks. I will spare you the details of all the chaos that has followed me around of late. Just know some were tiny inconveniences, that just kept coming, and others were heartbreaking loses. One such lose was a close friendship. Once a soul connection, has now has melted into nothing!

I have a very tough skin, most of the time, resulting from childhood drama that many of us share. So I just kept on walking over more and more broken glass. That is until a few days ago when I actually put my foot down and said out loud, to whoever would listen, “I am done with this!” I meant it with all of my heart and soul…done, finished, through! “No more drama please”, was my request to the universe. In that moment I remembered I had been given a gift of some lovely white sage. I proceeded to light it and walk around the house inviting any negative energy to leave. I am sure much of the negative energy was due to how I was reacting to the chaos, as a coach I have learned so many ways to respond, instead of react, so when I stopped I was able to connect more fully into what I knew how to do. (Any lesson here about slowing down? You bet!) After whisking the sage through the house, I opened all of my windows and let the fresh air in! I took a deep breath and connected back to my heart and to my love for life.

Instead of walking on broken glass I am settling more deeply into my spiritual practices. I meditate longer, use mindfulness as I walk among nature and I practice Reiki with a new found awareness of its healing potential. Simply put, I am more connected than ever to all that I love. Who knew that walking on broken glass would bring me full circle back to Spirit and back to Me! We need the rain in our lives to grow the flowers, they say. In my case there was a lot of lightening that came with the rain, so now, I am looking for the beautiful rainbows and I am finding them every day.
By Judith Geiger

Tip #10 Intention

Tips for Intentional Living
Live your life on purpose

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Tip #10 Start a daily intention practice.As you wake each morning take a moment to set your intention for the day. Now write your intention on a post-it note as a reminder. Place it in a location you see often.

Example intention: “Today I give myself permission to play.” Or “Today I will tackle my fear of __________.”

Tip #5 Simplify to Succeed ~ You Always Have A Moment

 

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“You may not have the time, but you always have a moment!”

When we commit ourselves to simplifying it naturally seeps into all areas of our lives. What I noticed recently was that simplifying had even showed up in my downtime. Some of my favorite things to do each day are to pray, read, meditate and journal. Even though I had simplified so many areas of my life, one thing after the other was showing up to fill my time. This did not feel comfortable after it went on day after day! I knew I had to shift something.

Recently I was mentally beating myself up for not getting around to all that I loved when a light bulb went off. I remembered something I had learned a longtime ago from Carolyn Myss. If you do not have time to pray you can simply ask that a situation or a person be filled with grace. In an instant it is done.

So I thought if a prayer could be done in an instant how else could I assist myself through this unusually busy time. I decided that a 20-minute meditation can be turned into a 30-second conscious connection to my inner self, while I offer up gratitude. To do this I close my eyes and breathe deeply as I invite in silence. In the silence I remind myself of all I have to be grateful for. This gives me a moment of stress relief.

Continuing on my journey to simply I signed up for audio books so that I can hear books while I workout. And I even slipped a little notebook into my purse and another one in my desk drawer to jot down insights when they occur. This is a simple way to journal.

Given a choice I still like the long meditation, old fashioned books and prayers along with lazy days to journal.  But on the days when I don’t have the time, I always have a moment.

By Judith Geiger

3 ways to Conquer Overwhelm in 3 Minutes

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You go through periods in your life where you are unsure of your next step. We all do! Overwhelm sets in and you feel stuck!!! What do you do? Try these for starters!
Three 3-minute tips to deal with overwhelm:
*Stop for a moment and drop into your body! Often when overwhelm arrives, your intellectual mind takes charge and the body gets forgotten. Listening to a talk by Judith Orloff this morning, I was reminded that it does not have to take very long to get more present. Judith suggests that 3-minute meditations can assist you to successfully be more present and grounded. If overwhelm comes to call slip into a quiet place, perhaps a bathroom, a car or even outdoors. Gently close your eyes and breathe. It can be just that simple. With each breath, exhale your overwhelm, and then inhale the quiet! Feel yourself in your body. Do this several times a day.
*Simplify! Let go of what you don’t need to do now. When you feel overwhelmed you often fill your life with extra things, people or projects. Instead of facing what is really going on. Try this instead, put one hand on your heart (Your Heart Chakra) and ask yourself this simple question; “Does taking this action empower me or disempower me?” Wait quietly for the answer. It will come in the form of an impression, a feeling or even words. Make your decisions accordingly. Be honoring of yourself…YOU are worth it!
*Bring together dog love with music. Watch this 3-minute Ted video and try not to sing along!!! Watch your overwhelm start to melt. Smile guaranteed in less than three minutes, if it speaks to your heart. It sure did mine.

These are just a start! Please leave your ideas below. We can all learn from each other!!! Community is important and YOU are my community!

By Coach Judith Geiger

Tea Time with God

8586317_sI enjoy tea time with God (you might call it the universe) daily, but it wasn’t always like that. Oh no, for the longest time I was living in the world of shoulds! You know that world. I should go pray now, I should meditate, or I should do self-Reiki. I should, I should, I should…then when I didn’t find the time the guilt would kick in big time.  I would go to bed thinking, “I did not meditate today, shame on me. I know how good it is for me.” I would go round and round like this. Some days were better than others, yet there seemed to be no permanent solution to my should problem.

Then one day a light bulb went on in my head. I was finishing my first cup of tea with my husband, when I thought about my mediation and prayer time that I had missed the day before. I thought, “I will have my second cup of tea with God and see what happens. No pressure to meditate for a strict 20 minute time frame, actually no restrictions at all during my tea time with God. I simply went into my office, lit a candle and settled in to sip my second cup of tea in silence.  I was inviting God into the space as I drank and sat in silence. A remarkable thing happened. I had a great time. I sipped, I prayed, I closed my eyes for a short mediation and when I opened them 20 minutes had passed. I spent over an hour with my first tea time with God and loved every minute.  It didn’t feel like a should at all.

How was this different than what I usually did?  There simply was no time limit or agenda. I was just there waiting to see what I wanted to do next. Sometimes during tea time I do self-Reiki, sometimes I pull an angel card, most times I meditate, but always I have fun!  My new number one priority, during tea time with God, was to have an enjoyable experience.

I was very busy during this time in my life and I was having a hard time scheduling. Perhaps more shoulds were showing up here, but that was why time to meditate and pray had been such a challenge.  Now I no longer dread having to stop my work to go meditate; instead I now get very excited about my prospect of having tea with God. Whenever I think of doing it, my heart skips a beat. I keep a special journal just for these teas so I can record valuable insights. Such as, during my first tea time I was sipping and wondering what I was going to do with my schedule. Suddenly I noticed a book on my shelf that I had not looked at in a long time. It was A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. I could have just ignored my intuition, but instead I got up and took the book off the shelf. Almost immediately I understood the reason I needed to do that. Out fell a quote I had saved years ago. It was by James A. Michener and it read:

“The master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his information and his recreation, his love and his religion. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing. To him he’s always doing both. ”
This was just what I needed to hear. I did not need to worry about my schedule. I just needed to pay attention to my soul and do what I love. So now I do not worry if I am getting it right or accomplishing my shoulds. I simply BE and have Tea Time with God.

Shoulds are something that haunt most of us from time-to-time. If you would like to find a solution to your shoulds… I would love to talk with you.  Sign up here for a free consultation.

By Judith Geiger

 

 

Happy Women Ditch the Guilt


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Guilt runs silently through my veins. It used to motivate much of what I did without me realizing it! Has this ever happened to you? You might not be aware of it, because guilt can be sneaky, swift and silent. Believe me, I know firsthand. I used to run myself into the ground trying to make everyone happy. And my ego felt it was an insult if someone asked if they could help me.  Who me… need help? No, no, no I am fine. I can do it, whatever it was at the moment.

Perhaps it was fixing a dinner for twenty people by myself or painting every room in the house. I could do it all! It really was true, I could do it all, but at what cost? I often exhausted myself to the point of feeling used and unloved. Is any of this sounding familiar?

I could clean the house until it shined, fix a dinner for twenty people without a hitch, and clean up after with minimal dish washing help. Heaven forbid, in those days I did not own a dishwasher, and I wore that like a badge of honor.  Those were the “good” old days; thank goodness I have out grown them. But it wasn’t a stress free process, to go from there to here, but it sure was worth it. It took many hours of personal foundation work and personal coaching for me to understand my real worth.

I came slowly to realize that I was equating extra hard work with my ability to be a good mother, great wife and better friend. Let me say here that I am still a hard worker. It is part of my very DNA. The difference is today I work hard at what “I” truly want to work at. It is not decided by that sneaky guilt. I have finally reached a place of softness for myself. I am able to treat myself as gently as I do others. This past Christmas I was truly able to see how far I have come.

Christmas Eve is a time of celebration for my family and a wonderful meal is one of the ways we celebrate. Normally the person having the dinner does the majority of the cooking and more recently guests bring something to share. This year dinner was at my home and I was spending the previous day with my son and his family and staying overnight. This meant if I was going to spend quality time with my granddaughters who live some distance away, and truly enjoy them, I would not be at my own home until a couple of hours before guests arrived. If it was still the good old days, I would have either not stayed over or worse yet, stayed and hurried home frantically trying to fix dinner. Why? Simply because of the guilt…it is what a good mother does. Isn’t it?

This good mother did it differently this year. For the first time ever I ordered the meal from a nearby restaurant that caters. I made arrangements to pick up our meal in route home from my son’s house on Christmas Eve. We had grilled chicken that fell off the bone, deep dish lasagna, Italian bread, and I made a big tossed salad with tons of veggies. I even ordered the desserts from the restaurant. We dined on four layer carrot cake and coconut cream pie! My husband, when hearing my plans, applauded the idea and was so excited that I would care for myself in this way that he offered to pay for it. In reality it was not much more expensive that buying all the food and cooking it myself. Not to mention it was wonderfully delicious. Who knew?

This gave me breathing space and it also gave breathing space to my guests. They were told to bring NOTHING! Candles were lit on the two tables that were nestled close together, the lights were dim and a very strange thing occurred. Everyone stayed seated in conversation for a long time after eating. Why do you think this happened? My theory is that they were all feeding off of my completely relaxed state. We were experiencing a much different atmosphere than normal. For once I was not over heated, exhausted or hurried. I was able to be completely present and enjoy it as much as they did! We had a magical Christmas Eve without guilt. I even had enough energy left over to get up at 5am and go to Church with a neighbor who was singing at her Mass. She asked me to attend during dinner and I was able to say yes, knowing I would not be too tired.

Are you wondering about my wonderful husband? He kept getting thanked all night for purchasing our meal and I’m pretty sure it made him feel good to be part of our new way of living. By the way, yes, I do own a dishwasher now (although, I do often wash them by hand, when I choose to, it is simply the green in me now… not the guilt).

My wish for you this New Year is to create a life without guilt. You might have to dodge and weave a bit, but I know you can do it. If you need a little assistance to get started I have several coaching slots open and I offer a free 30-minute consultationto help you to decide if coaching is for you. I would love to hear from you! Email me here!

 

By Judith Geiger